Its been a while now. We can all say that life has changed. I want you to come back, though i know how selfish that is, i cant help but wish it true with all my heart. I cant imagine this 18th without you, all the plans we had made, now they have materilised into nothing. I never got to buy you a legal pint, or bring a proper man home for you to scrutenise. I dont think mum will do the same job you would have. I really miss you, and i hope to hold you last words of guidance in my heart till my final breath. I love you, and miss you, but i guess i have to move on. We cant spend every moment of our lives grieving, however much i want to. It's not what you would have wanted. I'm living dad and i'm doin it all for you.